Absque Mortus
by CG
Summary: A what-if kinda fic. What if Death had the means to bring Morpheus back? Would she? and at What cost?


The very bizarre disclaimer- characters=Gaiman's, my profit made= none, sue=don't  
  
My EXTREMELY important note- Okay, here's the deal. I don't know if there is anything in this story that might be an inconsistency with the series. Think of it as kinda AU, but basically yeah. I just was thinking that if Death had the chance to bring Morpheus back, would she pay the price? No offence to Daniel or anything but...::sob:: I like Morpheus, so sue me! Also, Death may be slightly out of character because she is so upset. 

**Absque Mortus**  
  
It has been written many times, and sealed perhaps twice as many. The philosophers whisper it; the foolish babble it. When the blueprints of the universe were drawn up, it was sealed in that mystic, fatal ink. My brother Destiny whispered it to me at my creation.   
  
"Without Death, there is no life."   
  
I know not why they told me this, I mean, it's not like I'm going anywhere. I just am. There's no turning back, there's no renouncing my name. I am not Destruction, not that his choice was bad, but it is a choice that cannot be mine. Death....is a great responsibility.   
  
Sometimes I just want to renounce it.  
  
My brother...my little brother....why did you go? Why did I take you? Why?   
  
Destiny has been whispering the phrase to me often lately, "Fear not, sister, for without Death, there is no life."  
  
My elder brother, the riddle.   
  
I know I must accept it. Things change. Daniel is my brother now. I must accept it. But...but....it's all wrong. It's just all wrong. I cannot accept it. It's too perverse, too unfair. I did not want to take Morpheus...I'll never forgive myself for taking him, although I know very well that I had no choice. However, it felt wrong at the time. My two brothers, one taken from me by my own hands, and one here, and yet never connected to me. Have I done anything to deserve this punishment besides exist? I have been good. Never breaking the rules...or at least not without paying a price.   
  
As Death, I am a part of life, perhaps more so than my other siblings. What lives must die, and what dies must have lived. I am connected, intertwined; however you wish to put it. That is why the many fools who have tried to bind me, to keep me from my job, have failed. You cannot stop death; if you wish to stop it, you must never have lived. Yet mortals do not see it, they do not wish to believe it. "Without Death, there is not life".  
  
However, this works another way; another terrifying way. Excuse me, for I tremble....I tremble with fear and...oh damn! Desire! For in this simple rule of the order of things lies the key for something all have wished for, but is only reality for me. Death, because she is intertwined with life, may bring someone back. Don't act surprised, it is all quite simple. I am Death; without me there is no life. When I was born, so was the very first hint of life: a single star in the sky. I met her long ago; she was beautiful. Shimmering, and elegant, glowing with wisdom and sophistication, but a little too full of herself. I liked her though, really I did. Miss her. Sometimes I call her back from the sunless lands and we watch a movie and chat over tea and coffee. No, I do not give her life, just play with her dead soul. There is a vast difference. It is not the same, because the longing for life is always there. When they play with me, it soothes them, but they are never truly happy because the longing is always there. I haven't had the heart to call him...Morpheus I mean. When the star died, she released the elements that created more life. And all life comes from the stars. And all life comes from Death.   
  
And so, why should it be so strange that if I were to give some of myself to the dead, that life would spring anew? It is all so simple. And so terrible. Just imagine if I were ever to use this...this...curse! The chaos, the horror. If I were to, I would break the most terrible rule of all. Though less known, it has been written and sealed almost as many times as my brother's now too clear message, and its implications. "Death must never bring the dead back to life."  
  
And yet, picture yourself there, staring at injustice and pain, knowing that you could right it, and then not being able to, knowing that the consequence would be too great, too terrible. I want my brother back. I love Daniel, love him dearly, so help me, but he is not Morpheus.   
  
But I am not desire. I am not my sister-brother. Such ideas are childish. Foolish. It is playing with my mind, I know, making me want him back, reminding me that I could...if I really, really wanted to...if I desired it enough.   
  
So I consulted my brother on the matter, even though I knew what he would say. His words, that stupid phrase! They remind me that not only Desire is calling me, but the stirrings of Destiny as well. "Without Death, there is no life."  
  
But would I pay the price?  
  
But it's not like it's really that much to ask for. I mean, as far as endless go, I've been pretty good. Not so selfish, ya know. I've taken people when their time was up, perhaps there was an exception now and then, but mostly all went as it should. I've been good. Every century I become mortal for a day. I deal with entire world loathing, fearing me. I keep my head up, make my own happiness. I don't usually complain...just now...with Morpheus gone and....  
  
Dream has had his lovers. Desire oversteps its bounds, plays with those it's not supposed to play with, tries to intentionally cause harm. Despair has been known to play games and meddle in affairs. Delirium...well...she can't really be held accountable....but sometimes she involves mortals too much. Destruction abandoned us all. I admit, maybe once or twice I turned away and pretended I didn't see some of those who should be dead, but overall, I've been pretty good, haven't I? And usually when I did not do my job, it was at request of another never for reasons of my own, so I guess it doesn't count. I mean considering...it's not easy having everyone dreading to see you. I'm not bad looking either, might I add. But it seems that only Destiny and I have yet to be truly selfish.   
  
And just for once...I want to be selfish. Would it really be so terrible? I've never made a wish before...such a mortal practice. But here I go. Come on. Just one. One little selfish wish for Death. Please. Let me bring my brother back...  
  
Is it Desire or Destiny? I wish it was all my brother, but I know, deep in there that it is a little of both.   
  
If it is in my brother's book, can I truly resist?   
  
Should I resist?  
  
I mean...it's all I want, for the moment. I sound like my sister-brother, don't I?   
  
It's serious business, you know, mucking about in the natural rhythms. It can't be done without a reason, and even then there's the harsh price. Oh lord! I'm trembling.  
  
I feel Destiny smiling.  
  
"This is all written down, isn't it?"   
  
he nods.  
  
"What will happen to Daniel? I...I won't kill him, will I? I do not want to do anything foolish."  
  
"Some would argue that what you are doing now is foolish enough."  
  
"Yes, I suppose so, bro."  
  
"However, Daniel will not die, if your mind is truely made up. No, instead he will take his place as the advisor of Dreams, where he would have been if he had died as a mortal and Morpheus was still alive."  
  
"He will but upset...won't he...that...I..."  
  
"That is only for the future to know my sister."  
  
He is driving me mad.   
  
"Now my dear sister, make your choice."  
  
I stare, unblinking, ahead. I stand in my gallery, alone yet not alone, for I feel the eyes of all my siblings upon me. Before me lies his body, retrieved from the realm of the dead, a reminder of the task I must do.   
  
I mean, selfishness is not cool if you're going to walk around demanding everything for your benefit at every second without compromise. And if it hurts someone. But is one little selfish wish too much to ask for? Alright, it's a big selfish wish. And the only one who will come out of it hurt is me.   
  
I reach for my ankh. Is it Desire? Is it Destiny? Perhaps it is the Despair I felt when I learned of the Destruction of his life. Or am I becoming like Delirium? Lord! Quit the puns, Death. Nothing can save you now. You made your choice. And siblings help me...I know the consequence. I stop trembling. My course is clear.   
  
"You knew all along, Destiny."  
  
"Yes my sister. Are you afraid?"  
  
"Afraid? Well...perhaps...yes. Yes, I am afraid. I am terrified. I used to think that I had nothing to be afraid of. For what do we fear? Well, all mortals fear death, which is something I, of course, cannot fear. No, we fear what we do not understand. We fear the dread that we anticipate. Before I never had anything that was too unknown, too dreadful to truly fear...no that's a lie. I was afraid when Morpheus went to Hell after Nada...but...that's besides the point. Now, I'm afraid. I dread. But I will stick to my course. I have made my choice. And I suppose it will say this all in your book anyway."   
  
Again I reach for my ankh and brush it across his forehead, covered with rotting flesh. Words known only to me fly from my mouth, half whispered, half sung.   
  
Then comes the hardest part of all. When Death breathes into the dead, it cancels the death and becomes life. That means a kiss...a kiss in a manner that a sister should never share with her brother. But...but...it is the only way. There is no thought of formalities now.   
  
Breathing gently into his dead lips as I press mine against them...so cold...oh...so cold....  
  
But then warmer....warmer...gradually warmer...with every breath more life....with every breath the body is more whole...until...until I collapse for he is whole and my punishment is begun.  
  
"I...I am back...Sister Death, what have you done?"  
  
Pain rushes through me, I feel so weak. Never have I felt such pain, worse than a thousand needles, because whatever physical pain I feel is magnified a thousand fold from the knowledge in my heart....  
  
"Only saved you, 'lil bro. Only saved you."  
  
"I know that. But why? Why did you do it? You knew the consequences."  
  
"Yes, brother, yes I knew them."  
  
"But then why?"  
  
"Because you're you."  
  
Oh siblings! Oh! Is this what it feels like to re-teach your lungs to breath and your joints to move? The merging of the soul with the body how it must learn again to exist.   
  
He lies on his stomach beside me, in more pain than I am in. I see tears in his eyes. Never, ever have I seen my brother cry.  
  
"I am honored that you find me worthy of such a sacrifice..." he knows not what else to say, but the tears say it all. And my punishment tells me too.  
  
For now, inside my heart lies a piece of him for all eternity. I am doomed with the burdened to feel his physical pain, his mental trials and triumphs. And part of me will die when his time has once again come. This is my punishment, the most terrifying punishment of all, for it means that Death knows what it is to be something that can die.  
  
I have broken a rule and I accept my punishment.  
  
I know not how to answer him. I am growing stronger, strong enough to stand. Gently, I brush one of his wild locks from his eyes.   
  
"My brother, my little brother...."  
  
"My sister, my brave yet foolish sister..."  
  
One selfish wish was I all I asked for. One punishment will forever be mine. But it was worth it. I would do it all over again.   
  
I broke the rule. I perverted the statement. The statement that makes me possible.   
  
It has been written many times, and sealed perhaps twice as many. The philosophers whisper it; the foolish babble it. When the blueprints of the universe were drawn up, it was sealed in that mystic, fatal ink. My brother Destiny whispered it to me at my creation.   
  
"Without Death, there is no life."  
  
>>Fin 


End file.
